Monday, January 16, 2006

Random transcontinental thoughts

It just occured to me that every Indian girl that I had once thought I was in love with or could fall in love with has
a) got engaged or married
b) told me atleast a hundred times that I am a nice guy, and I will make someone really happy (dunno why but they all agree on someone else)
c) told me that I must continue writing poetry and send her a copy when I get published (all are freeloaders in this regard, though I suspect they just want to check if any poems written for them feature in the collection, just to figure if I gave my best shot I guess)
d) beautiful eyes, but a lack of singing ability (next one will be asked to sing before I look at those eyes)
e) doubted at least once that my muse for the poem composed for her must have been someone else (I guess they thought the poem was too good to be true)
f) asked me when will you graduate? (to show they care, when in fact they never cared enough)

I like American women. American women love cats and dogs. Unfortunately I belong to neither species.

In fact, thinking about american women, I have figured I always end up prefering
a) blondes over brunnettes (maybe golden hair seems more exquisite)
b) beauties with no taste for Rock Shows (American and yet they don't like any American Music I like)
c) hopeless romantics, stuck in wrong buildings doing romantically hopeless stuff!
Each one among them eventually vanishes into some well known city with periodically changing boyfriends, and I feel happy that I don't feature among their endless ex-list; which obviously does not prevent me from remembering them kindly.

I like Chinese woman, as long as they don't utter a single chinese word; most falter within minutes of my meeting them. The ones I liked, unfortunately, were either:
a) Married
b) Not chinese, but Taiwanese or Korean or Malaysian
They are not that nosy, and don't have much to frown with, but I cannot stand the historical and geometrical difference we have had with them.

Of course, I will mention European woman; they interest me immensely. They make perfect conversationalists; invariably they do so with their boyfriends hanging about in a small distance. Usually there is more than one in the vicinity.

The South Americans can set any heart abuzz; mine is no different. Thanks to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I know all about their magical realism, much of which scares me more than it fascinates me and thanks to Neruda, I cannot impress a single one with whatever poetic talents I possess!

I don't like Australian females; I have never known any. Judging from Fosters, kangaroos and their cricket team, I don't think I will ever like any.

Which brings me back to Indian females, for one among them must be sitting in some dreamy state somewhere, hoping that the guy of her dreams will be this or that, will take her here or there, will earn a lot or a lot more, will be handsome or dazzling, will be reasonable and loving. I hope she is learning to make awesome tea already, has patience to hear more verses than English Poetry Professors read in a lifetime, can survive, like me, on hopes and dreams, and most importantly loves chaos I bring with me. Else, I guess I will look myself and this time give up all hopes if she shares any qualities with the aforementioned cases.


PS: No women were hurt in writing this blog. The only hurt remains with your truly, and he is currently using that to compose love letters to impress and impersonate fools of every possible kind.


cheti said...

man !!!! if only you were as brave before too .. oh well .. i dont know the full story !!!!

Ardra said...

that was indeed a change from the prev posts...enjoyed reading this one thoroughly...

bilbo said...

loved reading this one. And so long as your hurt inspires
something as beautiful as your poems, it is all good :)

Alto said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
El enigma said...

:-) totally loved it, Vivek....especially the part about European women.....conversing with multiple boyfriends hanging around :-):-) I remember u writing a somewhat similar piece when u came back from India also....

Amen to all ur dreams :-)

Reshmi said...

arre baap re! hum to bahut acchi chai banate hai, ab kya hoga?! :P :)))))

kidding aside, "all the good guys/gals are taken" theory is good till u make peace with urs ;)

Amit Gupta said...

Its funny you say that all Indian women are taken, coz I just met one today who is seriously looking for someone, and whose complaint was that all the men are taken. I know atleast a dozen single Indian eligible girls who are looking for someone. The issue is that you will probably get comment no 2 (nice guy who will keep someone happy) from them too:-) However, the one thing that you have probably got to learn from the Americans (guys, not the blondes that you wish for) is to ask shamelessly. Ever seen how American guys approach girls in a club? I am told that Turkish guys are even more forward, but that is not the point.

The point is that with such a lovely command over vocabulary and such imagery in your head, you better be ready to talk straight to some girl some day. Might land you up in a married state, but it is said that that is a good state to be in, evenutally:-)

Best of luck with your writing.

Final suggestion - lost loves, and hurt brings out a lot of good poetry, but ever tried writing about feeling good? I guess it is far more difficult, which is why all the fundu poets never wrote anything about that.


bharath said...

sharmaji has struck a sixer!! :) vivek, much enjoyed reading this one. different from your poetry. :)

Vivek said...

comments from Sulekha:

Ana Maria comments:
on Jan 27 2006 3:24AM delete this comment block this user

Dear Vivek,

There is a time for everything... and any bad luck that gives birth to good literature is not that bad after all... hihihihi so keep writing, and the princess will come exactly when... you stop searching or trying to impress :D Oups, dropped the mean truth :D

Vivek Sharma comments:
on Jan 27 2006 1:25AM delete this comment block this user
There is a fair amount of fiction and fantasy in what I wrote ;)

Though indeed, by learning to laugh at my failures, I have turned my tragedies into charming comedies!

typical comments:
on Jan 26 2006 9:01PM delete this comment block this user

well, sorry for you... but i am glad for me - i got to read this blog post! Good read, so.

Buntys Banter comments:
on Jan 19 2006 3:16AM delete this comment block this user
Very engaging... Good style of venting your feelings. I hope you meet your chaiwali ooppss...lovely...dreamy lady...soon....

Vivek said...

from desicritics:

deepti lamba
January 30, 2006
08:09 PMI know 'Gentlemen prefer blondes' but it is a fact that Indian men are krrazy about blondes.

There I said it, now you men can come and protest all you want and I will show you the picture of Marilyn Monroe ;)
January 30, 2006
08:30 PMHa Ha Ha!!

Very well penned - no women were harmed - lol!!

January 30, 2006
10:01 PM:)... and just in time for Valentine's Day !
January 30, 2006
11:09 PMor even for April Fool's day ?

hillarious article !! and I too agree with the blond thing.
January 30, 2006
11:29 PMwhile hope is eternal...someday someone somewhere will fall for you...

btw it is unclear if it is the same poem you recycle for each intended victim

deepti lamba
January 31, 2006
01:05 AMSatya, since you agree with me, tell me who does it for you- Nicole or Kyle Manogue? ;-)

Vivek, apparently doesnt care australian hotties though.
February 1, 2006
01:20 AMAh Deepti!
I care about them all,
But they don't care at all! ;)

I think I write more verses per month than most poets in a year: though they seem to miss the targets too often;)

This being in time for V day is awesome idea; for FOOLS day is ROFTL.