Sahir Ludhyanvi, in my opinion, is the best lyricist Indian movie industry ever came across. He penned the famous Kabhi Kabhi, Waqt ne kiya kya hasin Sitam, Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jayen toe kya hai, Woh subah kabhi toe aayegi, Chalo ek baar phirse ajnabi ho jayen hum dono, and so on! Here is a song from 1967 movie, Bahu Begum, penned by him and sung by Lata (and the music was by Roshan), followed by another lousy translation!
Duniya kare sawal toe hum kya jawab dayen
Tum kaun ho khayal toe hum kya jawab dayen!
Poochay koi ke dil ko kahan chodd aaye ho
Kiss kiss say apna rista au jaan jodd aaye ho
Mushkill ho araz-ae-haal toe kya jawab dayen!
Poochay koi ke dard ae wafa kaun de gaya
Raaton ko jaagnay ki sazaa kaun de gaya
Kahnay pe ho malaal, toe hum kya jawab dayen!
****
Attempt A
When the world ask questions, what be my response
Who are you oh thought, oh dream, what be my response?
Asks someone where with your heart, did you part
To whom did you connect n with your own self part
If hard be describing my state, what be my response?
Asks someone who gave you the grief of fidelity
Who sentenced your nights with sleep depravity
If disconcerting shall be my words, what be my response?
Another attempt:
Attempt B
Oh! When the world asks, what do I tell them
Who are you in my thoughts, who do I tell them?
Some ask me where did I part with my heart
Where I established a connection, of relation, of life
If it be hard to describe my state, what do I tell them?
Some asks me who gave me the grief of constancy
Who punished me to stay awake in nights constantly
If my words may cause resentment, what do I tell them?
Another one??
Attempt C
If the world asks the quetion, what must my answer be
Who are you, oh my imagination, what must my answer be?
If someone asks me where did I leave my heart
Where did I new relations of life find, start
If hard be describing my part, what must my answer be?
If someone asks me who caused me the grief of fidelity
Who suffered my nights to be sleepless persistantly
If my words may be hard to come by, what must my answer be?
Which one is most preferable?
6 comments:
Vivek,
Which one is most preferable?--liked them all.. really...
Rush
Oh! When the world asks, what do I tell them
Who are you in my thoughts, what do I tell them?
Some ask me where did I part with my heart
To whom did I connect n with my own self part
If it be hard to describe my state,
what be my response?
Some ask me who caused me the grief of constancy
Who suffered my nights to be sleepless persistantly
If disconcerting shall be my words, what be my response?
Vivek!
I liked a mix and match...and a bit of change in the pronouns...
I always heard it as " tumko na ho khayal to hum..."
Meaning if you don't care, then what can I say....
This fits the situation in the movie where the hero has placed her in a socially awkward, terrible predicament and doesn't seem to care....
Now "Tum kaun ho khayal" makes no sense in that situation as asking who are you my thought? There are too many sites with the wrong translation... Also in the second paragraph it is Thod as in break, not jodh, as in make....
Thanks.
In full agreement with Deepti Sharma!
It's a pain to see people don't listen carefully and modify the lyrics whatever they want to! This is nonsense and injustice to both the lyricist, composer and the singer. What a beautiful song presented wrongly.
I appreciate the post but more carefulness is expected.
full agreement with Deepti Sharma And M Molla.
Careful listening brings rewards !
It has always annoyed me how Lata got this one wrong and they let it be - but if you hear it carefully at the end she does sing it once correctly by which I mean she sings it as "tum ko na ho khayal to hum". I read somewhere that she was either corrected as she sang or realised her mistake and so changed it ...
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