Thursday, February 24, 2005

All in a day!

Disclaimer: If you are one of my several advisors or coworkers, believe not a single word written here!

In any case, what is written here is actually meant to be read after 100 years if I turn out to be rich, famous or successful!

Since what follows is a tantrum thrown by a graduate student learning to deal with himself and his romance with chaos and failures, read at your own risk@

Better, stop here:)!

Woke up at wrong hour!

Called up a friend few hours too early as I miscalculated the time difference: happens when you wake up in the middle of the night (ouch! it was 6 am, but in my world of midnight sun, it was middle of the night!) Of course, I was the only one who thought it was funny!

Wasted too many minutes pondering over the case of Saurabh who claimed to have topped a non-existent NASA exam and in the process got late for a meeting! Thankfully no one asked for excuses:)!

Wrung out some solutions to homework problems a day in advance! This level of punctuality is quite uncharacteristic to my style!

After scratching my head for more than a day, and this time it was not due to dandruff, figured what was required to make headway in my experiments on chaos in drops. But left soon after to have another meeting.

Understood that making progress with projects and papers on gold naorods and liquid crystals would require more mettle and brain power than I can muster this weekend and yielded to the desire of having coffee.
Ran out of the coffee drinkers who provide the necessary sweetness to dilute the bitterness of the day, and then figured there was no food in fridge or home, so ran down to student center and after much brainstorming ate breadsticks while watching "Ten things I hate about you" all in mute. The experience was so harrowing that I actually ended up getting some bright ideas about how to progress on the front of liquid crystals, and hopefully making them work wouldn't require another luncheon of breadcrumps!

Ideas are like rain on desert sand, they vanish unless you build tanks to hold them, and tanks require prolonged effort@! I guess my small steps of each day will one day become giant leaps for mankind, or better humankind, but that day most probably come a day after the judgement day!

Had half an hour to kill before another set of experiments on light scattering were to be done in another building, with another friend. Thought of revisiting The Golden Gate by Vikram Seth, and a walk to the library revealed that my day was not going to get any better, Seth had disappeared from the library (like every other useful book and person does when you go to find them there). So held up Nabokov's Ada, and after 20 minutes of 20 pages of heavy reading, returned to lab with East, West by Salman Rushdie instead.

The light scattering experiments flopped, had another coffee as condolence, and when all seemed to have fallen apart, Rushdie provided the necessary comic relief. Walked home purposefully, and was delighted to see that two books had arrived: Soft and Fragile Matter: Nonequilibrium Dynamics, Metastability and Flow and other one full of beautiful pictures and puns: Cells, Gels and Engines of Life. Munched a few chapters of the former, felt intellectually charmed and dozed off to a crooning Lata to dream about days of higher productivity. The book provided the real motivational sentences the page 1 itself, for example "we are still fumbling in the dark", making me feel better about myself. Though ignorance is bliss only as long as you are blissfully ignorant of your ignorance!

Woke up, cooked Daal Chawal Paneer, didn't think I cooked them as well as I usually do, read more of Rushdie's East, West, (its awesome read!!!, esp on a day like today) and played cricket in the living room all before dinner! Giggles swarmed the two hours spent here, and life is not all that bad was an instant conclusion as hot tea tricked optimism to return to my heart and head.

Walked off to Physics building, in search of solace, and found peace by looking at pictures taken during a successful week of July!! Called the hour spend there BIG progress and returned home to finish the homework on Nonlinear Dynamics and Chaos! The nearly full moon tried to raise tides of emotion in me, and to silent the seas within, I turned to this blog!

See what mess you've ended up reading
Didn't I warn you before/?

So its all your mistake!

Maybe my tantrum became a fulcrum of your own conundrums!

For me, a few hours remain (still).

Miracles can always happen. (But they won't happen today)

Good night!

No comments: