He dragged her into his world
An underwater magical reality
That drew her close, awed
By the myriad creations unknown
To her naive, bewildered eyes
It smothered her, put her
Out of her breath but she
Returned again and again to the
Bottom of his poetic passions
To his deep, dark sea!
Her dives cut deep scars into her
As he spread out his coral clasps
To draw her close, to make her stay
Even in pain, her own blood mystified her
Vermillon, beautiful, diffuse cloudlike!
And then she moved as if drugged
In dream, she dwelled in his world
And began to forget the land, the sand
Swaying in his currents, breathing his fervent
Emotions into her dreamy but disenchanted soul!
Her old friends saw her sink so
But she was gone beyond their reach
Adrift in his world, floating in his tides
Just captivated by her own loss of her self
And numb knowledge of his stuffy presence!
She also saw herself shimmering as if
With drops of his emotions adhering
To her soft skin, like drew drops
And she saw his within blossom
In the sweet sunshine of her breezy self!
But she believed she was not given to him
Not in her entirety, not with her soul
She suffered as she sensed her own inability
To match his intensity, his swing, his strength
And found herself shrinking, shrivelling too!
As she groped for light, for hope, for future
His desires hugged her, snuggled her, soothed her
His love even wooed her will, her thoughts too
And yet she was just a bird in a fine aquarium
Bound to be unhappy even if skies she didn't know!
She mistrusted her flight, her will to flee
And scrambled to find transient thoughts of glee
But oh! Her heart began to twitch and scream
His cold engulfing of her, aroused her self esteem
And one day, she heard herself sing, ah! she was on her wing!
Physics building
April, 17, 2005
9:30 PM!
I must capture chaos in experiments
Not in romance, not in poetry!:)
So should get back to work now!
10 comments:
Thats a cute note to self there Vivs!!
:-)))) btw...chaos is inevitable eh!!
Vivek
God!! You noticed all this? Do I know you? or is this deja vu of the random kind.....
Booky
deliciously dark and disturbing...loved this one...i must be a closet sadist...:-P
Thanks chay, buck, booky! It looks darker than it was meant to be:)!
Booky, its not spooky:)! I guess passion does that to all - me, you and my friend:)!!
Well Gentle Sunshine, You are making one of two points there:) First could be that I failed to make it clear through the verse that "being engulfed by him; inability to match his intensity;" etc etc, mean that she does not like his overwhelming passion. If she succumbs to it, she loses her own identity, that too when she is herself unsure about his being the one. So in the end, she choses to stay away. (very non Bollywood like, but happens everyday:))! This requires intelligent person with an identity of her/his own, otherwise leaving has no meaning!
I hope your point is the second one, that is you believe that is how love should be; where individuality is lost and where one person's extreme passion is able to draw the other close withour others "own love" blossoming. There are many adherents to this notion, and in this poem, I try to capture how nauseating and stifling (eventhough being loved and liked is always joyful) it can be! The female necessarily needs to have an existential angst, a persona of her own or maybe just ability to perceive that only the other is in love and not her, to even brood so much!
Gosh! That is a long reply:)! I will rework on the poem, and send it to you (don't ask me when) and hope then it appears better. Thanks for the quip:)!
"The female necessarily needs to have an existential angst, a persona of her own or maybe just ability to perceive that only the other is in love and not her, to even brood so much!"
Are you for real??? I mean how do you know so much?? :-)) dont get me wrong, but you are just so darned perceptive!!
Sorta makes me smile and want to ruffle your head instinctively!! :-)))))))
Really!! Stumped!!
What ever!
What matters is she escaped not only from his passions but her own illusions?
Last line is the best. Even to sing she had to struggle. Huh! What a pity?
So What the heck? Is Love posion?
Love is Zandu balm filled with radio-active materials.
What do you know who applies it? under the pretext of relieving pain.
The moment she saw that, she nicely escaped. Clever girl! well done.
If I were you I would have banged his head before leaving or singing what ever.
Did you block me? Or did you ge blocked?
Hey Chirp chirp,
" Did you block me? Or did you ge blocked?" I am not sure what that meant, but thanks for your other comment:)!
Gentle Sunshine:)! Love as sacrifice does appeal to lot of people! I guess in my comment I sounded harsh:(, though all I intended to ask you was if my poem was unclear, or you disagreed with the presented perspective. I guess now it was both!
from sulekha:
Vivek Sharma comments:
on May 28 2005 8:38PM delete this comment block this user
An afterthought on this story! I had supplied an ending based on my observations, and somehow believed in its certainity! As life has always done so far, it surprised me with the turn of events! So while I thought that liberation was in the release from passion, the protagonists found it by sailing through the high tides of emotion!:) So whoever did not like the ending, know that the friends described are happy together@!
Vivek Sharma comments:
on Apr 19 2005 9:28PM delete this comment block this user
A response I wrote to the question that "guy loves girl, girl is falling for the guy and then? I didn't get it".
First could be that I failed to make it clear through the verse that "being engulfed by him; inability to match his intensity;" etc etc, mean that she does not like his overwhelming passion. If she succumbs to it, she loses her own identity, that too when she is herself unsure about his being the one. So in the end, she choses to stay away. (very non Bollywood like, but happens everyday:))! This requires intelligent person with an identity of her/his own, otherwise leaving has no meaning!
I hope your point is the second one, that is you believe that is how love should be; where individuality is lost and where one person's extreme passion is able to draw the other close withour others "own love" blossoming. There are many adherents to this notion, and in this poem, I try to capture how nauseating and stifling (eventhough being loved and liked is always joyful) it can be! The female necessarily needs to have an existential angst, a persona of her own or maybe just ability to perceive that only the other is in love and not her, to even brood so much!
BUT SINCE MORE THAN ONE PERSON ASKED ME THIS< I WILL WORK ON THE POEM AND REPOST IT ON MY BLOGGER DOMAIN!!:)
chayalife comments:
on Apr 19 2005 12:22AM delete this comment block this user
"Passion - It is stuffy and sweet at the same time"
Behold!! the bard speaketh truth-eth!! ;-))
just teasing!!
Chay
Vivek Sharma comments:
on Apr 18 2005 12:56PM delete this comment block this user
Thanks vi and raja_raja:)!!
I hope the friend who inspired this finds the love she deserves, and another friend who is compelled by passion now, finds his redemption as well:)!! And of course, it is quite a fiction for it is a love story as I perceive it to be!
Vivek
Vivek Sharma comments:
on Apr 18 2005 12:52PM delete this comment block this user
:) Chay
There is a bit of fiction to it, but passion has such effects on many of us.
It is stuffy and sweet at the same time:)!
Booky
Writing this seemed liberating enough:)!
vi comments:
on Apr 18 2005 11:23AM delete this comment block this user
vivek, nice one!
Somehow, the women that I have met here (brought here by their husbands) are not like that at all. In fact some of them, seem to turn canadian overnight!
This one particular women, won't take the subway when the guys car broke down and demanded that a taxi be hailed for every little outing! She won't cook at home...in general giving the guy a hard time!
vi
Raja_Raja comments:
on Apr 18 2005 10:23AM delete this comment block this user
Robert Viv(ek) Browning the making with an irresistible contemporariness!
brilliant!
Bookworm33 comments:
on Apr 18 2005 4:18AM delete this comment block this user
vivek
The observation is liberation!!!
brilliant!!
Booky
chayalife comments:
on Apr 18 2005 3:55AM delete this comment block this user
"She mistrusted her flight, her will to flee
And scrambled to find transient thoughts of glee"
:-))) and you were able to see that?
Uff!! touched many a nerve!!
Chay
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